Tough Talks with a Side of Tissue…Awe!

Many of you deal with people: family, friends, clients, and it is always a hard thing to do when you have a family member, a friend, or a client who has received bad news or more than that you have to share bad news with them. It can be emotional, it can be physical, it can be financial, or something else. With the financial it can be the possibility of running out of money, having no money to do what you, receiving an insurance, facing a divorce, widowhood, or the loss of a job.

You may have your process to share bad news with others, but Dr. Walter Baile and a group of his oncology colleagues developed the SPIKES protocol, and its usefulness can be used in many situations, both personal and professional. SPIKES is an acronym: SETTING, PERCEPTION, INVITE, KNOWLEDGE, EMOTIONS, and SUMMARIZE.

SETTING is important in choosing an appropriate atmosphere: quiet and private without mobile interruptions. Everyone involved should be aware that interruptions should not occur. Always have the TISSUES on hand. Include other family members who need to be included.

PERCEPTION: Know the client’s perception before you begin. Use open-ended questions to make sure you understand that they understand the situation. This is especially important in any financial situation. Make sure everyone understands what the discussion reallyy means.

INVITE the participants to indicate how much detail about the situation they are comfortable with. This is especially important with money and the discussion may have to occur in several separate gatherings . Let them set the tone so that they do not become overwhelmed.

EMOTIONS: It is quite possible that emotions will arise. Too much bad news can even lead to a state of temporary shock and inability to proceed. TISSUES! Crying is ok for them and you…

SUMMARIZE: A summary before ending is important so that you know that there is an understanding of the situation. Your communication whatever the situation takes skill and compassion and experience. Be careful with exhausted phrases like “I am sorry for your loss.” Try to gain a personal perspective in order tor relate to the situation and the person. Using a tool like SPIKES will help you and those you are trying to help no matter who they are. YOU ARE STRONG and AWEsome and helping others helps make them strong, too!

Ordinary Self Care…Joyful Self Esteem!

Joy in the Ordinary

Self care…really!  What does that have to do with money, honey?  And this is meant for men and women for good self care is the foundation of good self esteem.  I have just finished my Monday-Wednesday-Friday 9 am Empower Excellence “It’s Your Money” LIVE Facebook moments, and today’s topic was self care.


And while I try to keep personal stories out of the LIVE segment because it is usually only 2-3 minutes, today was full of real personal examples covering self-care:  skin cancer screening (I am ok but experienced cryotherapy for the first time yesterday!), good sleep habits(8-9 hours per night), good nutrition ( have all of my daily 8-10 fruits and vegetables at breakfast), socialization (lunch with a friend today), exercise (6000 steps to go to and from lunch in Oberlin), and a haircut (self love!) this afternoon.  Family will be covered on Sunday, and now I am off to work (here at home, which I am very disciplined about.  This evening and tomorrow, I have two new books from the library to read when I am not on Trulia scoping out the Aurora area for my next planned move within 4 years from now (Having a Dream!).  This is all self care and balance.

And for a true R-Evolution with Money, I have to be balanced, well rested, well fed, in good physical shape, and emotionally ready for whatever comes my way.  Meditation morning and evening helps with that, too!

So, men and women, take care of yourselves and each other because self care is foundational for good self esteem, and believe me all issues in our lives find their way back to self esteem, take care of yours and the self esteem of those you love!  And find JOY in doing these ordinary things in life!

Saturday Simplicity: DREAM!

simplicity dream

Saturday should be simple.  It should not be a day to pay bills, clean the house, or run errands.  It is a really good day to sleep in, to dream, to meditate, to watch fun cooking shows, to walk in the sunshine, to make love, to be kind, to be love!

Saturday should be simple.  And simple is love, kindness, sunshine, sleep, and more.   

Saturday should be simple.  Saturday should be your dream day–in the sun, in the rain, in the water, in the sheets.  Seriously, it should be a day dedicated to dreaming.  Dreaming is simple.  It is a lot like meditating.  Just go to your quiet place:  physically, mentally, emotionally, and let everything go!  Please do not say you do not have the time to dream.  When you were a child, daydreaming came easy.  Perhaps we do not daydream enough as adults.  Maybe we were told as daydreaming children to pay attention and get back to work.  Maybe that is why as adults we not only do not daydream as much as we could but we also may have trouble meditating.  Please do not say that daydreaming and meditating are not productive.  They are probably one of the most productive things we can do to stay healthy and happy mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Saturday for me is simple.  I work to make it simple, and it is the easiest work I do!

Are You in Need of Healing Your Money?

Just One day

If I could give you fewer than 10 steps to begin healing your life in some way, including your money, could you at least consider it for one day?

Because I can give you some steps to begin thinking about.  You notice that I did not say that you could change everything in one day, but you can begin thinking about changing in one day.  I do not believe in radical change because it does not last.  I have taken the last year to fully realize where I have had my missteps with my life in these first months in Oberlin, and it feels so good to know that I am changing.  I listen to those quiet whispers in early morning meditation to set my course for the day, and off I go, most days!

So, let’s give it a try with some ideas I have pulled together and use personally to begin making change, whether it is with money or another part of your life because a change in any part of your life could possibly result in changes in your money relationship as well.

  • The most important step is to believe that you can heal yourself.  It is probably one of the hardest as well, we are the last ones to believe in ourselves.  This is a self esteem issue which I know we will touch on in the future.
  • Once you believe enough in you to make a start, find those who will lend their support to you.  It could be one person or more.  But they must be people you trust.  After all, you are trusting you, you want them to trust you as well.
  • Begin to trust your intuition.  How?  Well, a quiet practice, call it meditation or whatever, is helpful.  Meditation scares people until they realize it is a quiet time for you that once started allows your still small voice in your head, in your heart, and in your soul to be heard.  Trust me in this process as well.  Believe me, it works.
  • Begin to be your own diagnostician.  Once you begin to believe in you and the still small voices of intuition, the answers to issues–mentally, emotionally, physically–do come to you.  It takes time, but believing what your body tells you is important in the self esteem area.  
  • This one is a little harder.  Once you begin to listen to your body and you begin to get an idea of what is going on, then you will begin to be able to prescribe how to fix it.  Yes, you can, and, yes, you will!
  • Many have a hard time when it comes to this step:  let go of all outcomes.  When you try to control the outcome, you are throwing away everything else.  Don’t try to understand this right now, but you gain control when you let go of it.  It is the self power:  it is not power until you let it go into the world!

On Empower Excellence in Facebook, I am beginning to do a live one minute daily visit before the end of the year.  You can always reach me at as well as through comments here on WordPress.

Thinking, now Breathing…


A courageous act is to think.  A wise act is to breathe.  When someone begins looking seriously at the foundations of their life, money always plays a role.


It is always a temptation to either blame or dismiss money as a factor in our life.  But rarely is money the sole source of our anxiety.  There are underlying mental, emotional, physical, and other factors that contribute to our relationship–good or bad with money!

Wow!  Yes, you do have to go deeper; but, until you do, learn to stop and breathe to keep you going.  The breathing gives you a chance to pause, take a time out, and then begin to resolve your money issues.

Breathing is a gift from the Universe to keep your life in motion.  Breathe, think, and keep going.



The Universe and Money…That is Energy!

The Universe Once You Decide

Conspire all you want to make millions of dollars, but, if the Universe is not communicating with you and you with it, it will never happen.  Energy makes up everything, and everything is made of energy.  The early presentations of Deepka Chopra introduced me to quantum physics and energy and how it is related to money.  Each of us is totally energy, everything is made of energy.  Money does not give you energy; you give energy to the money in your life.  

So all of our recent talk about physical energy, spiritual energy, and mental energy boils down to this:  get your energy straight, and the Universe will be your partner in creating whatever you want once you know what you want and once you really want it bad enough.  It is that simple.  And in the coming days we will talk more about money energy…because “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”  So decide what it is that you want bad enough that you are no longer afraid to get it!

Let the Universe Take You Into Your Life’s Expression…


It is Spring as the light showers provide a soft backdrop to the activities of the day.  We have been blessed with beautiful days here in Ohio of late; it is now time to water the Earth as it becomes the time to sow seeds, thinking we know what they will produce.  Just like Nature we plant seeds to grow into something bigger, both literally and figuratively.  But the seeds we plant figuratively have been within us since before birth.  Now, at whatever point you are in your life, if you have found your purpose in life–hidden within your soul until you awaken it, you breathe life into the seeds of your purpose.  You think you know what the planned result will be, but there are always surprises.  All you have to do is to decide whether or not you are ready to allow something more than what you currently may know to develop.  You, as a part of the Infinite Power of the Universe, will find that your purpose in life will play out in any of many ways that will bring you to be a benefit to others….

And, in that process, all will play out the way it should.  Be prepared for transitions of all sorts–mental, emotional, physical, and financial.  The Universe loves to surprise!


The Only Energy We Can See…Are You Green Today?


Light is the only energy we can see.  Colors are powerful manifestations connected to parts of our body.  Each color affects us mentally, physically, and emotionally.  Energy work takes on many forms, but simple colors:  red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet, can also have an effect on our energy.

My logo for Empower Excellence was created with this in mind.  Following my morning meditation, it became clear that sharing the colors and their significance was my mission for the day. I am beginning that mission today with the color green!

To begin anything, we need to feel balanced in a very basic way.  We need love.  We need self control.  Self control includes discipline.  To begin any small work to change our energy requires discipline.  The simple example of getting out of bed in the morning–that requires discipline.  It requires self-control.  There is a balance of what we want and what we know we need to do.  It is the very basic demonstration of need versus want.  If we want to accomplish what we need to accomplish, we have to start the day.  It may not seem like love when you are getting out of bed, but in the end it is love for yourself:  doing what is best for you to do at this moment.  Whether it is getting up to take care of your family, going to school, or going to work, it is all a matter of self-control, love, and balance to accomplish what is yours to do in a day.  

While we cannot see the positive energy that evolves from these simple actions, we can feel that energy.  We can see the green in nature in all seasons.  But feeling the energies what propels us to do what we need to do, even if what we need to do is something we do not necessarily want to do!  Be green today, feel the energy, and maybe see energy in “light”…