Doreen Virtue wrote a book “Don’t Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle”, and I must say, while the title was a little misleading, it was a book that went far deeper than I suspected. It is really about breaking free from negativity and drama; it is about addictions that are results of unresolved traumas. It took me through a drama detox that probably was needed for decades. It took me through stressors like money, jobs, and the economy. It took me through healing steps. It was eye opening inasmuch as I learned how I had been rewarded for drama throughout my life: sympathy, attention, focusing on others’ issues, feeling needed. The drama was a revictimization over and over again.
But I soon found that I SPARKLE!
I learned over the years that I went through all of the reactions to trauma: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn! The trauma started early with in utero distress, a mother with mental health issues, and more. I have suffered through death, divorce, abuse, illness, moving, accidents, financial difficulties, losing jobs, surgery, legal issues, and natural disasters.
Over the years, my adrenals became severely fatigued; I burned out more than once. In essence, many of us go through PTSD as a result of childhood abuse; we recover. But there are residual signs: boredom, we are looking for the drama. We have fears, and we block out memories. We become emotionally frozen. And we have an impaired inhibition towards fear: we are constantly proving ourselves. We binge on foods we are allergic to: drama. Stress helps us feel alive.
But eventually we travel the path from self blame to self worth. We seek out more light–light energy–AND THEN WE SPARKLE!
No longer afraid of the future, w find meditation, we stop the noise in our heads. In meditation, we become aware of our chakras, we see sparkling light… It is then up to us to stay in the light–inwardly and outwardly–and then, we may just SPARKLE!