This morning is a mixed bag for me…my higher goals seem to be put on hold for the past few weeks while my discontent has learned to relax and just “be”. I guess that is one way to become content. I really do not know, and that, too, is ok.
To “be” is living in the now. It is a split second between “before” and “after”. And it has been an interesting time being in the now. New opportunities opened up suddenly and just as suddenly closed. I am more aware now than ever of my personal strength, and I have a greater appreciation for my life as it is and for life, in general, as it is. I have learned that I am even beyond the typical spiritual experience. Do not get my last statement wrong. I have been involved again in a spiritual practice group but find that I have little to share with the group because I have already been there and done that, my “being” is not on the same level. I have changed again, and that is growth, but at times it can be traumatic…like I have to find a new tribe again…contentment is not my best suit! It is being alone without being lonely! Yes, it is a result of trauma, little traumas and big traumas…still trauma. I have faith and optimism that this period of my life will resolve itself in a new transformation…a small transformation on the path of total transformation. I have recovered JOY and share it whenever possible. A simple invitation to a client from the past ended up being a good client session…pro bono. I was the lighthouse once again. It made me stop and think that I am just supposed to “be” at this time of my life…going with each moment and day as they present themselves while moving towards the reasons of my passion and mission…if this is growth, is it, as a recent article was titled, “Post-Traumatic Growth”? Maybe…