When we stop and look at life through another’s eyes, our brain literally stops and says “Wait, what is really happening here?” Recently I had the opportunity to do just this. It does not mean that we have to go out and look for someone who is going through a hard time. If we really live in the moment, folks in the moment are plentiful to see who are going through a major transition. It is not a time for judgment; it is a time for us to feel what they are feeling, just for a moment.
And gender has nothing to do with it. In the early part of a recent day, I saw someone who is really struggling to get back into her life…really putting herself out there when she is having trouble just being. Knowing her back story, I admired her fortitude while another who had just met her commented on her lack of confidence. I saw it as a real act of confidence just showing up that day…My mind kicked in over and above any emotional reaction.
In that same day, someone who I have known for a very long time, someone who holds a position high in the scheme of things, sat with me just to catch up. He still has the same issues he has had for years, but this time, my brain kicked in realizing that we really become habitual throughout our lives never really leaving the baggage behind; it is just hidden a little bit better. We all have issues, some hide it better than others. Some keep the hard brick wall up forever, and then there are others like myself who constantly strive to accept others while changing ourselves constantly realizing that in this moment we always have a choice to stay the same or make life better for ourselves and everyone we meet. I left this gentleman with a challenge thrown over my shoulder as we parted “It’s your turn to stay in touch”. My challenge is to stick to that, allowing the other person to grow just a little bit because of my challenge. My challenges are always because I believe the other person really can feel better just by doing that one action of my challenge. Then it is up to them…that is my challenge: to stay disciplined in making my own mental changes in my own life…I am working on it mentally!