I am always mystified when someone says that need clarity in any situation. What is, is. The only requirement is that we look at the situation honestly and not cloud up the situation with what we wish it would be.
Being honest with ourselves is a difficult skill to learn, but the only way to learn it is to practice it. It really is that simple.
And I hate to say it, but I really believe that we all know when we are lying to ourselves. We know it until we have lied to ourselves for so long that we no longer are in touch with reality! In that case, professional help is needed.
Working with folks with their money, I experience these behaviors all the time. When I am alone with the client, they readily admit that they know what the problem with their money is, but they need to have help and accountability on how to change it.
That is honesty; that is clarity, and it is so clear in a simple moment!