Clo$ing the Bank of Mom (& Dad)….

The Money Conflict

The Money Conflict

It is a blizzardy day in Northern Ohio, the day after Christmas! A day to take a deep breath, take a nap, and take time to think about the holidays of 2012 which have not only blown out your patience, your stamina, and your refrigerator but also your bank account. Not everyone suffers all of this post-Christmas trauma; but many more than admit it do suffer one or all of these post-Christmas traumas!

It starts when your children are just babies, not even toddlers, and you just love, love, love them, and you want them to have everything their little hearts could ever desire, whether or not they know that they want any of it –more often than not it is the parents who want, want, want for their progeny. It is a sign of a “good” parent many think to provide, provide, and provide some more for their children. It is a source of pride that there are so many things under, around, and in the Christmas tree. But then it doesn’t stop with Christmas…

Then there are birthdays, which today apparently have become extravaganzas lasting many, many, many hours and sometimes more than one day! The tab for these “birthday parties” many times approach not only hundreds of dollars but thousands of dollars. But then it doesn’t stop with birthdays, either…

Many times many parents continue to be the bank account or the ATM for their children as they grow and grow and grow through high school, through college, and into adulthood. Weddings are too big for this blog to even discuss…

Mom and Dad are always there to provide additional cash when needed. It is a habit that once it starts takes many years to break. You love your children, you want to give them whatever they want no matter how enabling you become. In the process, while you may cringe when you see “the ask” coming, you begin to give financial support to make yourself feel better. After all, you love your children throughout their lives, don’t you? To say “no”, oh my gosh, my children will think I don’t care about them, that I don’t love them! The feeling drags your self esteem into levels lower than any of us can tolerate. If I don’t help them, what kind of parent am I?

I have a saying that “your children are your children forever”! It does not matter how old they are, they are still your children. But that doesn’t mean that you are always able to provide financial assistance; and, in many cases, it would be better that you don’t provide that financial boost! And, if you decide you can’t or won’t, it does not mean that you do not love them. It may mean that you love them a whole lot more and want them to become financially independent; it may mean that you need to become financially free from your children!

Do you want to become free financially?

Do you want to close the bank of mom (& dad)? Many families struggling with this conflict, this tug-of-war over money, have looked to me as a financial professional over the years to help them in finding a resolution. It is a very common family issue, and on Saturday, January 12th, the first “CLOSING THE BANK OF MOM (&DAD) program will be held — be there to start 2013 off “freer”! See for details.


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